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How To Deal With Stress and Depression During The Holidays
How to Deal with Stress and Depression During the Holidays
Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD — Written by Jennifer Purdie — Updated on December 13, 2019
Understanding the Holiday Blues
The holiday season can trigger depression for a number a reasons. You may not be able to make it home for the holidays, or you may be in a rough financial situation. If you’re going through a difficult time, it can be tough to see others with extra joy in their lives.
Seasonal depression is more common than you may think. Approximately 14 percent of Americans experience the “winter blues.”
These blues can be especially overwhelming during a time of change. Christmas and New Year’s Eve often present challenging demands, from never-ending parties to family obligations. These events can come with higher levels of stress.
If you’re dealing with feelings of stress or depression, know that you aren’t alone. There are ways to manage your symptoms and get the help you need.
What are the symptoms?
The most common symptom of the holiday blues is amplified depression. This is true of people who may or may not being dealing with depression already.
You may be experiencing a bout of seasonal depression if you feel like simple activities are more difficult than normal. This includes getting out of bed, making dinner, and taking a walk.
Other symptoms of the blues include:
feeling more tired than usual
losing interest in things that used to bring you joy
having trouble concentrating
9 ways to manage the holiday blues
There are many things that can contribute to the holiday blues. Whether it’s something as simple as overscheduling yourself or a deeper emotional need, it’s possible to work through your feelings and start anew.
Here are nine ways to deal with the holiday blues:
Limit alcohol – Limit your alcohol intake, and try not to keep it readily available around your house. If you’re attending a party and you know alcohol will be accessible, limit yourself to one or two drinks. Drinking to excess can affect your mood and amplify any negative feelings that you may have.
Get plenty of sleep – Try to go to bed at a specific time each night. Being well-rested can improve your mood and help you feel ready to take on the day.
Learn to say “no” – Overscheduling and not making time for yourself can lead to emotional breakdowns. Learn how to say “no,” and stay firm on your decision.
Be open to new traditions – You may have an image of what you think the holiday should consist of, and this may not be what’s actually happening. Instead of holding on to what the holiday should have been, allow new traditions to unfold.
Get support when mourning a loved one – If you’ve experienced the loss of a loved one, the holidays can be especially tough. Although it can be tempting to isolate yourself and grieve, it can be beneficial to spend time with your friends and family. They can support you through this difficult time.
Spend time with your loved ones – Instead of spending the holidays alone at home, get your friends or family together for a dinner party at your place. The more the merrier! You can spruce things up with lively decorations and add welcoming floral arrangements to your living spaces.
Exercise regularly – Plug in your headphones and pop out for a walk around the block a couple of times a day. A quick 10-minute walk will get your heart rate up and release mood-boosting endorphins.
Do something fun to get over a recent breakup – It can be difficult to be alone when you’re nursing an aching heart. Instead of sitting at home, fill up your calendar with activities. Websites such as meetup.com offer group outings, such as dinners and dancing, almost every night of the week.
Avoid overeating – Before heading out to social events, fill up on veggies. You can even fill up a small sandwich bag and snack in the car. Holiday outings can often lead to overeating, which can affect your mood and overall well-being.
The holidays can be an especially difficult time for older adults. If you’re unable to be with friends or family this holiday, look for volunteer opportunities that allow you to be around others. Some non-profits will even come pick you up if you’re unable to drive.
7 Tips To Manage Stress & Mental Health During The Holidays
Ten Tips for Enjoying the Holidays
Ten Tips for Enjoying the Holidays
Follow these 10 tips to make the most of your holiday season.
Your feelings about the holidays are very personal. They can cause us to feel happy, sad or ambivalent. The holidays can also cause stress because of:
Overscheduling, overindulging and overspending
Too much time with family or not enough
Multiple caregiving roles
Personal or family illness
Work demands
Expectations of what you should do
Seasonal affective disorder or depression
No matter how you feel, the following tips can help you enjoy the holidays as much as possible.
Reflect on what is important to you during the holidays. This may change over time, but thinking about what you want for this holiday season will help you choose more intentionally about who you would like to spend time with and how you would like to spend the time. It’s hard to have a meaningful holiday if you don’t determine ahead of time what will give it meaning.
Make a plan as early as possible about what you will do during the holidays. Try to plan at least one activity that is important to you for each holiday that you celebrate. Feel free to initiate activities with family and friends. Consider volunteer activities. Making a plan well in advance can give you something to look forward to and help you feel a greater sense of control.
Communicate clearly how others can assist or support you. Accept offers to help shop, wrap or cook. Some people may not know how best to help, especially if your needs and desires have changed from last year. Most people are happy to help as long as they understand clearly what you want and they have enough time to provide the support.
Realize the holiday season is a marathon, not a sprint. In other words, pace yourself. While extra social gatherings can be exciting, you don’t want to compromise your physical or mental health by doing too much. Acknowledge that you cannot do everything for everyone. Practice saying “no” without guilt. Allow yourself the opportunity to grieve the loss of giving up some activities.
Maintain a healthy lifestyle. Try your best to make good food choices and relax to restore energy. Your endurance will be better if you can stick to your daily routine as much as possible, including exercise.
Manage your spending. It’s easy to feel the pressure of consumerism during the holidays. Decrease the financial stress by making and sticking to a budget. Thoughtfulness need not come with a hefty price tag. Gift solutions include: reducing the number of gifts; initiating a gift exchange; giving to a favorite charity in family members’ names; and providing gift certificates for babysitting, snow shoveling, a home-cooked meal, or time together. Gift cards can also be purchased for small amounts and the receiver will enjoy thinking of you as he or she enjoys a cup of coffee or music download “on you.”
Monitor alcohol and medications – individually and together. It’s easy to overindulge in alcohol during the holidays. Moderation is key so that your balance and emotional well-being are not negatively impacted. If you do not usually drink alcohol, consider beforehand how alcohol and your medications may interact, especially if you’re taking a new medication or an increased dose. Maintain your daily medication schedule. Missed doses can cause you to feel less than your best or, worse, cause a medical issue that requires emergency care.
Manage your expectations for family gatherings. When multiple generations and multiple families celebrate together, it can be challenging to feel heard and understood. Be clear about what you need the most and flexible about the rest.
Think ahead about stories or observations from the past as a family that you’d like to share. You may know how a specific family tradition began or have a funny story to tell about the holidays when you were a child.
Reflect on what went well this holiday season and improvements you would like to make for next year.
Build Your Self-Care Snowman
Holiday Blues- Put Your Mental Health First This Holiday Season
Dec 01, 2021 1:15 PM
Author: Leann Bentley, Social Media and Communications Specialist, HMHI
The holiday season may be “the most wonderful time of the year," but it’s the most dreaded for some. The holidays fill the air with happiness and cheer, yet they can also carry stress and sadness for many people, especially those who deal with an underlying mental health condition.
Rachel Weir, MD, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at Huntsman Mental Health Institute, shares her expertise and tips on making this holiday season more enjoyable—for everyone.
It’s essential to recognize how you are feeling, Weir says. If you notice yourself feeling more down, irritable, tearful, or exhausted, or having more difficulties with your sleep or appetite than usual, it’s time to ask for help.
If you have already been diagnosed with depression or an anxiety disorder in the past, it may be time to check in with your treating clinician to see about adjusting your treatment. If you have never been diagnosed with depression but are experiencing some of the symptoms above, you may consider seeing your primary care provider or a mental health professional to assess and possibly start treatment.
Changes in Mood Could Be Telltale Signs
Many things can help your changing mood that are outside of traditional treatment. “It’s imperative to realize when your mood starts to fall, there is usually a drop in activities that contribute to positive mood,” Weir says. “When you start to feel bad, you tend to do less, and when you do less, you can end up feeling even worse.”
Avoiding Holiday Stress and Anxiety
“Too often, we act based on how we feel, rather than what we should be doing, or what is best for us,” Weir says. “We let these negative feelings take over—thoughts like, ‘I don’t feel like seeing a friend’ or ‘I feel like having a drink,’ etc. These thoughts can be clues that we are acting based on a negative feeling. When we are not feeling our best, we don’t feel like doing much of anything positive.”
Here are a few suggestions from Weir to avoid—or cope—with the holiday blues.
Follow a schedule. “It’s important to schedule things and ideally have someone like a friend, family member, or therapist hold you accountable to following through,” Weir says. Writing down your schedule for the day makes it easier to stick to a plan.
Write things down. “Write down things that help you boost your mood and note what you are doing when you are feeling your best,” Weir says. Even something as simple as keeping a journal or writing on a sticky note or notepad can help you reflect and see the patterns on days that you felt better. Then, you can use those tips for days that are harder.
Limit your alcohol use. “This can be hard to do during the holiday season due to festivities and how frequently people tend to turn to alcohol to cope with stress,” Weir says. “But excessive alcohol use can have a harmful effect on mood and sleep.” Try to limit alcohol to holiday social events and no more than 1-2 drinks in one sitting. Or ditch the alcohol entirely and enjoy other holiday beverages like cider or hot chocolate.
Plan something for yourself after the holidays. A vacation, even if short, can really boost spirits. Having something to look forward to is important, and this does not have to be an expensive outing. Even a day out with one or two people you care about can lift your mood exponentially.
Watch what you are eating. “It’s completely normal to splurge on holiday cookies and treats during this time, and that’s okay,” Weir says. “But try to balance the indulgence by planning healthy meals on days when you don’t have social events or plans.”
Volunteer. Giving back to your community and to others in need can be a great way to do something positive that helps you as well as others. Volunteering can also be a great way to connect with people who may share similar interests if you are feeling lonely. Many people volunteer or donate during the holiday season, but try to turn this into a year-round activity, even if you can only give a few hours per month.
Limit your time on social media. “Social media doesn’t always make people feel better, and there is growing concern it may make your mental health worse,” Weir says. Social media can be overwhelming at times, but even more so around the holidays, when people have more free time on their hands to use their devices. However, Weir reminds us that “people’s lives aren’t as rosy as they portray on social media - this can be hard to realize when you are feeling low. So limit your time on your devices, and spend time doing the things you do enjoy with the people you care about.”
Set boundaries. Be comfortable with saying no to things, and to people that may cause you stress. Setting healthy boundaries with things, people and family is even more important during the holiday season.
The holidays are to be enjoyed with the people you love and care about, but they can also be hard for many people. It’s perfectly normal to feel sad at times, but if you note these feelings lasting longer than a few days, please reach out to loved ones and mental health professionals to get help.
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Music As Therapy
Dick Clark said, “Music is the soundtrack to our lives.” I don’t disagree with that. Think about how music has highlighted poignant interludes in your life, such as when you danced at prom, cheered a team on to a big win, or cooed a lullaby to a baby. Music helps you brave traffic and it soothes you to sleep. And music can keep you occupied as you wait for the cable company to answer the phone...whether you like it or not.
Often, music has had one other important task: It's there when we are sad. Have you ever been dumped and then played on repeat the Bonnie Rait song, “I Can’t Make You Love Me"? Or perhaps lost a loved one and cried to “Tears In Heaven” by Eric Clapton until you had no more tears? The point is, when we are sad we seek out music that seems to understand exactly how we feel. Sometimes the music can make us feel better, sometimes it can make us feel worse. Regardless, we have it to help us recognize that life can be full of heartbreak, loss, and loneliness.
So what happens when you realize that Celine Dion knows a thing or two and your heart will indeed go on? When you have decided you are sick of letting the same people break your heart, tired of being angry your friends ditched you, or you just want to feel less anxious about what you can’t control? You need some new tunes.
Utilizing the theory of cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT, I work to teach my clients that what we say to ourselves has a direct correlation to how we feel, and thus affects how we act. In this sense, listening to Whitney Houston belt out “Annnnnd I……………….Will always love yooooooou” might be telling you there is no one else out there to love. You might then feel hopeless, depressed, and truly lost. Are you then going to run to the next computer to perk up your online dating profile? Probably not. Albert Ellis, one of the minds behind CBT, once said, “Accept that along with many good things, bad things exist, change them if you can, and accept what you can’t change. Remember it’s your thoughts that create the way you feel. It’s practically never hopeless. Acceptance is the key.” So let’s modify the playlist, change what the song is telling you, and thus adjust your feelings and ultimately your behavior.
I am going to present to you three songs I believe have the type of messages you can utilize to help cope with what life brings:
“Things Happen” (Dawes)
In this song, the singer says very plainly, “Things happen, that’s all they ever do.” To me, this line is significant in that it brings life’s ups and downs into a simple statement of fact. By saying “things happen,” you are accepting the present moment as it is. You are allowing the chain of events that brought you here to exist as they are, and, in doing so, removing residual blame, shame, guilt, and/or anger. By accepting the “things” that occur in your life, you are able to move forward, instead of being stuck in wanting to change something you cannot.
Another line in the song goes, “You can just ignore it, put it out of mind / But ain’t it funny how the past won’t ever let something lie?” The song is reminding us that we can’t stop our thoughts from happening. By trying to ignore them, we are refusing to believe in our own truths and feelings. Instead identify your thought as helpful or hurtful, accept that “things happen,” and move forward with purpose.
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“Nothin But Time” (Cat Power)
Cat Power’s Chan Marshall told reporters that she wrote this song for her friend’s bullied teenage daughter. In it are the words, “Your world is just beginning… It's up to you to be a superhero / It's up to you to be like nobody.” Reflective of the It Gets Better Project, this song is a reminder not just to the young but to all of us that what feels heavy and insurmountable now can change through time and personal growth. You’ve heard the phrase, “One day at a time," itself a wonderful coping statement. Cat Power is reminding you that those days are many and that as you go through each one, “You ain’t got nothing but time / And it ain’t got nothing on you.” The power in this song is that it forces you to take yourself out of the direct moment and gives you a foundation for personal evolution. It reminds you of the choice you have: staying in the hurt and pain or moving forward, one step at a time, one day at a time.
“Shake It Off” (Taylor Swift)
What do you tell yourself when people make fun of you, say you’re no good, or that you have no future? How about “ Baby I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake / Shake it off, shake it off.” This song is a powerful anthem for anyone who ever felt mistreated by those around them.
Swift sings of other people's opinions but never gives those opinions any weight. She doesn’t say to herself, “Maybe they are right” or “I must not be that great because of what they are saying about me.” Instead, she trusts herself to know who she is deep down and believes that to be true. “Haters gonna hate” indeed. You can’t change how others act or what they think. You can try by being a good person, but ultimately it is out of your control.
Sir Anthony Hopkins once said, “My philosophy is: It's none of my business what people say of me and think of me.” Stop letting others challenge who you believe in yourself to be true. Swift sings, “It’s like I got this music / In my mind, saying it’s gonna be alright.” That music she sings of is her changing those automatic negative thought patterns and in doing so, changing her feelings of self-worth.
There are countless other songs that are out there to pick you up, help you think clearly, and show you there is a better way to treat yourself. Christina Aguilera believes “You’re Beautiful,” Katrina & the Waves encourage you to keep “Walking on Sunshine,” and Journey reminds you, “Don’t Stop Believing." Use the power of music to change what you say to yourself. Yes there is heartbreak, yes there are mean people, and of course, times can be rough. But to help what you say to yourself, “Let the Music Do the Talking” (Aerosmith).
